This Toxic Masculinity Malarkey is Absolute Madness

And I’ll damn well fight anyone who disagrees with me

This joke teaches us that we shouldn’t make assumptions about gender. Just saying.

My ex and I separated when the kids were 7, 11 and 12. Words like “Daddy, I love you so much”, “Daddy, you’re the best”, “Daddy, Ben called me a bum-face,” were suddenly — within a matter of weeks — replaced with messages of rejection, contempt and hatred. I’ll tell you what I hate, people who use unconventional words just to make themselves look perspicacious.

Within a month I would be told to move on. Forever.

Anyway, while I was busy googling ‘toxic masculinity’, unbeknownst to me the threat that had long hung over my head was fast becoming a reality, “Lee, if you ever leave me, I’ll make sure the kids never speak to you again!”

Like a dumbass, I naively assumed that the ridiculously named ‘family justice system’ listened to all victims of abuse, regardless of gender, sexuality and the like. Talking of dumbasses, I recently read that 97% of the world’s population has always believed that only stupid people never change their minds. Thank god I’m part of the other 5%. You may have noticed I like my jokes like I like my life, unnecessarily complicated.

So, the more I pursued the matter through court the more extreme my ex’s tactics became, and the more cash I threw at the system the more it turned a blind eye to the lunacy. I now know going to court was a complete and utter waste of time and money. Talking of time-wasting, the other day my friend who lives in the States told me that having a vasectomy was a waste of time, all it does is change the colour of the baby. And to make matters worse, apparently, the little boy’s now in police custody for allegedly using a counterfeit crayon.

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