Attentive Sign Off

I have always been an over-thinker. It’s both a flaw and a highlight in my character, and it often leads me to many existential questions that I cannot answer in the moment I’m in; if ever.

There are things in life that I ponder about, which come to me in weird sporadic instances and which I never think of again. But then there are things in life that come onto my radar, and I return to over and over. In the past year, the biggest of these things have been what the hell I want to do with my life, and what the hell we are doing to our planet.

I really don’t have answers to these two things. As much as they cross my mind, and I can promise you that is frequent, I never have a breakthrough that causes me to solve the problems of the world. But I do have progressions, and I have frustrations, and oftentimes they align nicely with each other to make me feel as though I’m remaining static.

My biggest frustration comes with the lack of attention we seem to be willing to pay to the setting of our story. We may all have different plotlines, motives and endings, but we all exist in the same place and we all need it to survive. There may be conspiracy theories and contrasting ideas galore, but there is no arguing that we all live on Earth.

My constant conflict comes in the way I want to instigate change, but I don’t know where to start. But what I’ve come to realize is that the only way to start down the right path is to take any step at all. That’s what I’ve been trying to do with my movement towards a zero waste lifestyle. I set myself up with the goal of a year, and I’m slowly making progress towards achievement. It’s not easy, but it’s important to me and I’m sticking to it, even when I face setbacks.

With this progress comes the frustration I mentioned, which I often feel when I think about the way we ignore so many problems in life. We can see them charging at us from the horizon, we can recognize that they’re going to run us over, but we make the decision that it’s not enough of a problem to shake us from our place of comfort where we exist. So we don’t act.

I’m sick of not acting. And I’m sick of watching the same thing happen around me, time and again, with conversations taking place, acknowledgement existing, and a failure to just do something. I have been hesitant to say too much, preach too much, nag too much, because I don’t want to create defence, I don’t want to isolate and segregate. But I’m at a point where I care much more about this than I do about opinions. That took some growing up, but I’m there.

This is all a roundabout way of saying that we need to be better. We need to educate ourselves, but beyond that we need to do shit. Myself included. We can all do more, be more, change more, if only we allow ourselves to act. But instead, we sit around talking and saying how tragic it is, while we watch the tragedy move towards us at full steam. Instead, I’d like to get off my ass and run away, or better yet I’d like to push back.

Rainforests are burning. Key species to beautiful ecosystems are dying. Temperatures are rising and sea levels are changing, and the priorities are staying the same. Comfort and money remain at the top of the list for most of us, and I really just wish we’d be better. If we don’t create any action, there won’t be a place left to make that life of comfort, because we won’t have any places left at all.

Our attention is being bought and sold on a daily basis. Most of the time, we’re giving this attention to things we recognize aren’t the best. We all spend our time on social media, we converse about the negative elements of that spent time, and we wonder why we spend so much time on it. But instead of changing our habits, valuing our own attention and investing it in something else, we continue on because it’s simple and it’s easy.

We have the power to make the changes we complain about, and instead we continue on the path of least resistance. That’s not where, or who, I want to be. But I also don’t want to hold judgment for those who choose to, because that’s not who I want to be either.

Perhaps this has become something of a rant, off topic and shifting from place to place. But that’s the over-thinking that lives in my mind, and it’s the day-to-day process to go through. I just ask that maybe my too much thinking will make you think a little more, create more connections and demand better from those in your life. I may not be able to influence the entire world, but I can start with anyone who’s read this far, and maybe they’ll reach beyond and do the same. We all know someone who knows someone, and a whole lot of someones can do a whole lot of good.

Let’s be better.

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