Before I was married, I danced. I worked hard to be a perfect dancer. I would take several dance classes per day when I could. It made me happy. But then he replaced dance. My world became him. We…
We eat peaches and bury the pits
in the sunbaked backyard soil, hoping
to make something of ourselves.
We are fifteen, juice dripping down
our chins, and the world unravels
exactly the way we expect. The pits
never grow into anything, just like
we knew they wouldn’t. We are fifteen
and summer blisters its way through
our bodies. I learn to swing a hatchet,
wonder about the fecklessness of God.
We use our hands to make melodies
of each other, slowly begin to belong
in fewer places. The peach pits rot
as my mother turns over in her bed.
We are fifteen, windows down,
and we are drenched in being. Nothing
ever grows, but we still search
for meaning. There are no new trees
but we are fifteen, passing laughter
in secret. We will be this for as long
as we can, until the rain comes,
until the sky blooms, until we are sixteen
and there are fresh peaches
and we realize darkness does not mean
there will never be light.
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