Dangerous Liaisons Doctors Edition

I started working as an Attending Physician in 2008. I was young, 34 years old and new to my role of teaching Palliative Care Fellows who were just a few years younger than me.

The Chairman of the Department of Pain Medicine & Palliative Care was Dr. Russ Portenoy who was absolutely one of the smartest people I’ve ever worked with.

After a year or two of being there, they hired a woman who was a PhD psychologist. I can’t remember her last name now, but her first name was Alexandra and she was from California, Italian originally, and had beautiful long hair. Immediately she moved into a coveted corner office, and she was very close to Dr. Roberto Cruciani who was second in command and gave Alexandra his office. He’d later go on to be disgraced when it was found out he was trading pain medication prescriptions for sex with patients, but back then I had no idea anything improper was going on. That’s a whole other story.

Alexandra talked one of the Senior Palliative Care Attendings Dr. Pauline Lesage into having a feedback meeting with me. It was an ambush. Alexandra came for me with daggers. She said she’d been having private therapy meetings with the Fellows and the Fellows had expressed that I was a terrible teaching Attending. I was very green at the time, and discombobulated in a shame storm after being told that I was a terrible teaching Attending. I listened to the complaints, and asked for specifics of which Fellows had said what exactly? Suddenly I woke up out of the shame spiral. *Curiosity is a shame deterrent.

“I don’t have to answer to you Alexandra. You’re not my supervisor. Russ is my supervisor. I’ll take this up with Russ. And your meeting the Fellows for private therapy sessions and using what they’ve told you in confidence is a conflict of interest. I will tell him this.”

Alexandra burst into tears and begged me not to go to Russ. She apologized profusely and promised never to meet with the Fellows again for therapy sessions. She acknowledged what she’d done was wrong and begged for my forgiveness. Then she started lavishing praise on me, saying how I was the most collaborative wonderful physician she’d ever known.

Maya Angelou’s famous quote of life wisdom she bequeathed to Dave Chappell on Iconoclasts was “Don’t pick it up. Don’t put it down.” Meaning people will sing your praises and then try to tear you down, and neither the praise or the criticism belongs to you. What other people think of you is not your business.

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